In The Spiritual Disciplines series we’re learning 12 disciplines that will guide us as we grow deeper in our walk with God. These columns post on the second Friday of each month in 2020.

Spiritual Disciplines are not a list of religious duties but rather habits that nurture and mature our spiritual growth. They are inward, spiritual attitudes walked out by behaviors and actions. These habits are critical for lasting spiritual growth and true life transformation.


STUDY: the intentional process of engaging the mind with the written / spoken Word of God and with the world God has created; conforming the mind to that on which it concentrates. 

Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. ~ Psalm 119:105

At the foundation of all The Spiritual Disciplines is God’s Word. The best way we can learn more about God and grow closer to Him is to study the Bible. As a young boy Jesus studied the Torah. Scripture records him spending time with the teachers in the Temple. We must follow Jesus’ example and spend time studying Scripture. What we study becomes implanted in us. And the best way to be transformed from the inside out is to not just study but meditate on and even memorize Scripture.

Quality Time With God

When we spend time alone with God in His Word we can learn about God’s love for us and the truth that will bring us salvation. Through our faithful study of God’s Word we will be taught, directed, protected and even healed. God wants a relationship with us and a healthy relationship takes time to build.

Be Intentional About Study

The Spiritual Discipline of Study encompasses more that just learning about God from the Bible. We can spend time in nature and with other valuable books to grow closer with God. What’s most important is that we are intentional about what we study, making sure that where we spend our time and energy, what we focus and meditate on, is what we want to be planted in our heart, mind and soul. We will become like what we meditate on.

Transformation Will Come

God’s Word can speak to our circumstances/pain/heartache in the most mysterious way. However, for that to happen requires that we sacrifice our time to study. When we do, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the Living Word of God will bring about the transformation that’s needed.

Watch/listen to this touching song by MercyMe and allow the Word of God to speak to your heart today.


The sex addiction discussion is a hot topic in the media with personal stories of Hollywood celebrities. But not everyone is convinced someone can really be addicted to sex. And if you are, what’s the big deal? 

You might be thinking… “It would be awesome to be married to a sex addict!”

Think again…

Growing up I had a front row seat in real world sex addiction training. My father was a high functioning alcoholic, which means he could stay sober during the day to manage his career but when off work he was usually drinking and chasing women. His addiction to pornography was no secret with a Playboy calendar hanging above the bathroom scales in our only bathroom.  His sexual exploits also had no boundaries. He brazenly sought out women in front of me; he carried on affairs with my co-workers and my college roommate with no shame. Tragically, I acted out all these behaviors and worse in my own sex addicted life.

When children grow up with addictions and become addicts themselves, they usually take the dysfunctions a step further.  I certainly took my addictions and perversions to more destructive levels than my father. With no regard for my family or friends, sadly I passed down the painful effects of sexual addiction to the next generation.

What is sex addiction? Sex Addiction is an unhealthy coping mechanism characterized by a set of escalating, compulsive behaviors which result repeatedly in negative consequences.   

What are the symptoms for sex addiction?

  1. A recurring pattern of sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors lasting six months or longer.
  2. A pattern of sexual activity in response to depression; repeatedly using sex to cope with stress.
  3. Inability to reduce or stop the sexual activities believed to be problematic.
  4. Evidence of “personal distress” caused by the behavior: interference with relationships or work.

How can I know if I’m a sex addict? While this online screening test is very comprehensive and helpful, I highly recommend you seek professional help. You cannot overcome this bondage on your own. Trust me. I tried!  Women’s Sexual Addiction Screening Test

I remember the day I realized I was a sex addict. I was so full of shame and guilt. I didn’t know how to face my family and friends. I didn’t know how I could ever turn back to God. How could He ever love me again after the horrible things I had done.

God loves us in spite of what we have done. Believe it or not, He was there when we did those terrible things. That’s a thought that I can’t stand to think. 

No matter what phase you’re in in the addictive cycle, whether you’re fantasizing about your next sexual encounter or suffering with guilt and shame after last acting out — help is available now!  Freedom from this desperate downward spiral is possible! 

Please don’t stay in your pain alone! Contact me by email. I can help you start the healing process.

Instead of dwelling on your guilt and shame, meditate on God’s love for you with this beautiful song by MercyMe