Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seriously struggled with unbelief. For some reason in this season of life I have strong faith that God can change external situations: relationships, living conditions, etc… But I have doubts when it comes to the complete change of my own emotional and physical weaknesses.
In my readings today I’m encouraged to let go of my emotional crutches for happiness. Through prayer and meditation I can reduce the obstacles I’ve set up against God’s presence in my innermost being.
In this way I will come closer to peace and healing.
Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps by Richard Rohr
Divine Therapy and Addiction: Centering Prayer and the Twelve Steps by Thomas Keating
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My recovery work this year is focused on The Principles behind the 12 Steps, asking key questions that will help to learn these core values and put them into practice.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
How do I know what is real?
As an addict I lived the bulk of my life unaware of those around me, clueless to how my behavior affected others, actually not seeing much of the world at all. But after I turned back to God I had an amazing experience of awareness in, of all places, Walmart!
On a hot summer day I was shopping for groceries when suddenly it was as if scales fell off my eyes and I could see people all around me. Like the day I got my first pair of glasses and I saw the trees weren’t just green blobs, they actually had individual leaves.
Where did all these people come from?
Had there always been so many people in the world that I never saw?
Not only could I suddenly see the people, God gave me the ability to look into their heart and spirit, almost like an x-ray, I was seeing their emotional pain. It was overwhelmingly heartbreaking. I wandered through Walmart thinking…
What can I do? I’ve got to help them. But who am I to help them? I’m nobody.
This incredible awareness stayed heavy on me for months. It was almost too much to endure. It was as if God gave me a taste of what He sees every minute of every day. This experience has repeated only a few times since that day in Covington, LA. But it changed my life forever.
This is what Principle Two wants for us. To be aware, not only of ourselves and the world, but to be aware of how our behavior touches others, to be sensitive to the needs of those around us.
To answer this month’s key question, How can I know what is real? We must look to God. I believe this answer comes only by divine revelation, after much seeking, prayer and meditation. God promises to make Himself real to us if we seek Him. And with that our awareness begins.
Wake up, sleeper, rise from death and Christ will shine on you. ~ Ephesians 5:14
If you can’t see the screen below CLICK HERE for a great song called Wake Me Up.
A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles: Living the Values Behind the Steps by Patrick Carnes
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